There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
