if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
