Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
