He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
