So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
