guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
