Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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