This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
