Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
