some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
