If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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