Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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