i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
