I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
