I think I am morally bankrupt
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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