Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
