its not stalking. its research.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
