I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
