I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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