i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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