Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
