I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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