just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
