All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize