Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
