If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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