I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
