Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize