It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
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