My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
