from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just tell him i said nine months
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you win again, gameday.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
