The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
