Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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