Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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