just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
