so that wasnt chicken after all
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
