How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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