Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
