I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
