remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
