god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
