He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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