i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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