He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
