He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
