my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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