I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
