I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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