I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
