DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
