ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we're making bets on your personal life
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
