Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
