I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
