does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
