Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
