Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize