he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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