I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
