What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Randomize
