i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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