that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
