Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
