She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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