The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
