I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
