Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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