i think i have herpe
just one?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
