I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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