I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
