dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
