I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
