Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
