It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
