If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
